'You made me the man and the tenacious corner-back I am today'
Cavanman's Diary
A statement on behalf of Michael O’Hoolahan, inter-county footballer. Issued via the GPA.
It is with a heavy heart that I can confirm that I have played my last match for my beloved county. As the strong, silent type, I’m not one for public displays of emotion so I’ll keep this short and sweet.
The reality still hasn’t sunk in that my inter-county journey is over. I have kicked my last O’Neill’s Size 5, pumped my last fist. Never again will I hand pass the ball back to the 'keeper nor modestly write in my wellness journal about keeping someone scoreless in training.
I have a few people I wish to thank. To my employer, Irish Bank Ltd - you gave me a chance when I dropped out of first year greenkeeping in DCU. You saw something in a young man from Ballymahooly, a man who, yes, had a superb Bronco Test PB but otherwise had no qualifications. You gave me a fuel card and allowed me to knock off at four o’clock on Wednesdays if we had training. I’ll never forget your kindness.
To the county board. Thank you for your unquestioning belief in me and my expenses forms. Without your support, I would probably have less than 10 county kit bags and only eight pairs of mouldies. Words cannot express how grateful I am.
To the lads I played with, what can I say. We laughed together, cried together, bench-pressed together. Our warm weather training camps will never be forgotten, by us or the local constabulary. I will treasure each and every photo we posted on WhatsApp of our breakfast. Those bonds are unbreakable.
As a group, we came close over the years but never achieved our ultimate goal of league promotion or a championship win. Still, it was all about the journey for me.
That’s not to say I didn’t enjoy some amazing occasions. I’ll never forget the day I had four turnovers – but my greatest moment as a county player came off the field, ironically after a gut-wrenching defeat in which we left it all out there and just came up #agonisinglyshort.
After the game, heartbroken, I sat on the grass and a single tear dripped slowly down my cheek, meandering through my two-day old stubble before exiting via my chin.
In case you miss the point, let me reiterate, that's how sad I was – I cried! Anyway, afterwards, someone sent me a photo and, despite my overwhelming sorrow, I managed to post it online. Well, that photo achieved 1500 likes. To each and every one of you who hit that like button when I was at my lowest ebb and to those of you who added a broken heart emoji, a sincere #thanks.
To PJ at Top Man Barbering in Drumavallaghra. You are the number one men’s stylist in the county and easily top 20 in the region. Nobody else could get that sick fade looking just so crisp and you’ll never know the sense of wellbeing it gave me when taking the field for a big match. Thanks for always going the extra mile. See you soon, Snips.
To the managers, selectors, nutritionists, psychologists, logistics co-ordinators, gym coaches, influencers, lifestyle coaches, Jedi mind gurus, performance assistants, county board liaison officers, video analysts, defensive coaches, finishing coaches, starting coaches, bus drivers, water dispersal technicians, media managers, doctors, physios, masseurs and the many others I’m sure I am forgetting, you complete me.
A special mention for the seven highly-rated strength and conditioning coaches I’ve worked under. Without you lads, I would not have had the confidence to wear that tight t-shirt at Christmas.
To the GPA - as studies have shown, you are the greatest force for good on the planet today. Keep doing what you do.
To my number two supporter, my partner Elisha. You have been with me all the way. I always knew that if I looked up to the stand, you’d be there, in one of my old jerseys, taking a selfie with the other wives and girlfriends. Love ya, babe.
To my children, Kentai and Thor - you are the future and it is to you I now must direct my focus. As the Native Americans say, the man who sits in the sun too long will feel a great burn. This may make absolutely no sense now but one day, you'll understand.
Of course, there were the haters too. You fuelled my fire, drove me on to new heights. To all of those who told me I was wasting my time embarking on this journey, that we’d never get out of Division 4, let me say this: yes, you were technically correct, but long runs the fox and, on top of that, heavy is the crown. Tread softly because you tread on my dreams and let us fight the good fight.
All young players look up to their heroes. I had many I admired but none more so than Paul Galvin, Laoch mór an Ghaeil. Paul, we have never met, but you will never know the impact you had on my generation of footballers. You showed us that we could wear skinny jeans and no socks, that it was alright for lads from the country to rock the Converse runners and button their shirt up to the top. Thank you, Paul.
More than anyone, maybe, one person has been behind me every step of the way. Jake at Top Man Menswear – you picked me up when I was down, always had a tux freshly pressed for the dinner dance. Top man is a suitable title for your 20,000 square feet store, which is located on Main Street and which I would recommend to all for their affordable attire and superb service. (Check them out on Facebook. Open till 7pm on Saturdays, pre-orders essential for formal wear.)
Of course, it goes without saying that I did all of this for the fans. You were there, in your dozens, come rain, hail or shine. No matter what you said about me behind my back or wrote about me anonymously on the internet, you always praised me to my face and I will love you for that, forever.
After three years as an inter-county player, I know that returning to civilian life will not be easy.
I intend to spend more time with my friends as I now redirect my energy to Mother Club, she who nursed me, at whose breast I suckled. I cannot thank my club enough. You reared me, made me the man and the tenacious corner-back who could also do a job at wing-back or as a wing-forward dropping back, that I am today.
Never was there a manager picked without my approval; never did anyone criticise me when I headed to Ibiza after the county were knocked out. It meant the world, so thank you.
Hanging up the white Copa Mundials will also afford me time to devote myself to my other great passions – Instagram and TikTok. I can’t wait to see what the future holds on those platforms.
For now, it’s time to hand on the jersey to the next warrior and, as those of you who know me or follow me on social media will know, I want no fuss now. If someone wants to set up a hashtag, #ThankYouMickeyO or whatever, feel free but please, no over-the-top tributes. That’s not my style – I’d rather slip away quietly because with me, it’s all about the team. And the fans. And some charities close to my heart. But mostly all about the team.
So, that’s that. Time to bow out quietly and modestly. Thank you in advance for your all your kind comments, I have no doubt I will be humbled by the reaction to this statement.
Yours in high achievement but genuine sadness that it’s all over,
- Mickey O -
(aka The Hoola-Man aka Big Dog )
#WeGoAgain