‘Comparison is the thief of joy’

Positive Confidence and Style CEO urges clients to find one feature they like about themselves

Do you take time out for yourself?

The Confidence and Style CEO, also known as Deirdre Treanor, suspects most women neglect their own needs.

“Women are great at doing things for everybody else but often leave themselves until last. I always talk about taking one per cent of your day for yourself. It’s not selfish. It’s necessary,” Deirdre told The Anglo-Celt.

The former recruitment consultant, who has also worked in the hospitality sector, knows what she is talking about, because she has been there. The Magheracloone native, who is happily married and living in the Truagh area of Co Monaghan, founded her own business four years ago after realising she was close to burnout during the Covid pandemic. Working from home, she “just couldn’t switch off”, she confessed.

Something had to give, so after almost a decade in the cut-throat world of recruitment, she resigned with no Plan B.

“I didn’t know what I was going to do. I took Christmas and New Year off. The following February, I went to Cork and trained as a stylist. I learned about colours, style, body shapes and all that side of things.”

Before becoming the Confidence and Style CEO, she ran an Instagram page called Dee Loves to Shop: “But the more wardrobes I got into and the more women I worked with, I realised it wasn’t just about the clothes. It was about how the clothes made them feel.”

That realisation led her to train as a life coach: “At that point, Dee Loves to Shop didn’t really fit anymore, so I rebranded as the Confidence and Style CEO.”

Four years on, the business continues to grow and Deirdre is currently developing a website.

“I genuinely just want to help women. I’m going through perimenopause myself and I want to help women through that stage of life. Women come to me and they’re so lost. They stop themselves from going out, from meeting friends. Often, when you dig deeper, it comes down to: ‘I don’t know what to wear and nothing fits.’ I can’t change anybody’s body shape or size, but I would love women to be okay with their changing bodies and to take time for themselves.”

A lot of her work centres on helping women build confidence through practical, everyday style choices. Deirdre offered one of her favourite pieces of advice: “I always say, instead of investing in a pink blazer, invest in a white T-shirt. Invest in your staple pieces, your jeans, boots and jackets. Build those foundations first. The small details matter too. Earrings, a necklace or changing your shoes can completely change how an outfit works.”

An advocate for working with what you already own, Deirdre wants women to be able to look into their closets and see clothes they can actually wear. She conducts wardrobe audits on request, but she hastened to add: “I’m not going to come into a client’s wardrobe and tell them to throw everything out!”

While some pieces may be ready for donation, others simply need to be styled differently. If a client is unsure about parting with an item, she advises boxing it up and revisiting it a year later: “Ultimately, I don’t make the decisions for people. I guide them.”

Nonetheless, she believes wardrobes should reflect people’s real lives: “The question I always ask is: ‘Where are you 80% of the time?’ That’s what your wardrobe should reflect.”

At a time when many women are navigating perimenopause and menopause, Deirdre believes self-compassion is every bit as important as style: “At this stage of life, women can be very hard on themselves. I don’t want to add another thing for them to worry about. I’d rather focus on how they feel in the clothes. If they love something, who am I to tell them to get rid of it?”

The old adage that ‘fashion fades, style remains’ closely aligns with her philosophy: “Trends come and go. Buy into trends if you know they’ll work for you, not because social media says you should.”

Animal print in all its patterns remains firmly on trend and there was good news for lovers of leopard print, which for many has become a wardrobe staple.

“To me, it’s a neutral,” Deirdre laughed.

Personal style, she believes, should always take precedence.

“Everybody has that one item they always reach for. That’s personal style.”

Comfort is increasingly important to her own approach to dressing: “I think you have to dress for where you’re at. If you’re doing the grocery shopping, you’re probably not wearing six-inch heels, but if you’re heading out for the evening, that’s different. A pair of black heels will go with everything.”

Speaking about confidence, she said many women spend too much time focusing on perceived flaws.

“Women often grieve for the body they had 10 years ago. But if they think back honestly, they probably weren’t happy with that body 10 years ago either.”

She noted that many women struggle to identify what they like about themselves but can easily list negatives.

“Instead, pick one thing you love and draw attention to it, whether it’s your eyes, your smile, your wrists or your ankles,” she advised, adding that a positive attitude goes a long way too.

Consultations with new clients are intentionally conversational.

“Social media makes us think everyone else has life figured out. They don’t. Everybody is just doing their best.

“Many women tell me they’ll book something when they’ve lost half a stone or a stone, but I ask them if that’s really the problem. Sometimes people just need somebody to listen to them. I’m a talker, but I’ve learned to stop and listen.”

The entrepreneur can accompany clients on shopping trips in Dundrum or work closer to home: “Those appointments are a quicker fix. We might spend an hour in Dunnes Stores working within a budget. It’s not the same as a full wardrobe consultation, but it’s a starting point.”

Deirdre feels online shopping has taken some of the experience out of buying clothes: “You can’t feel the fabric. You can’t see how something really sits on your body or test whether it works with the rest of your wardrobe.”

While she acknowledges some items can only be bought online, she advises shopping in person where possible: “A lot of online shopping is impulse. Ask yourself whether you’re buying something because it’s a bargain or because it genuinely works in your wardrobe.”

As the interview drew to a close, the Confidence and Style CEO was asked for her parting words of advice: “Don’t let the size on the label bother you. Dress for who you are today and where you are in your life. Remember, comparison is the thief of joy.”

Deirdre Treanor and functional health practitioner Brianán Dolan will host Hot Flushes and High Heels at the Oakland Centre, Glaslough, tomorrow, Thursday, September 17. The event will focus on style, confidence, nutrition, hormones and wellbeing during perimenopause and menopause. Doors open at 6.30pm and tickets cost €20 plus booking fee via Eventbrite.