New Alzheimers support group set up for Cavan

Life was good and they were an active couple who loved their golf, but then along came the unreal world that is part and parcel of living with Alzheimers. Carole and Jack Beattie live in the tranquil townland of Drumroragh, some three miles from Ballyjamesduff. Jack was an affable man who was a superb builder and carpenter and they had a great life together. Now, unfortunately Jack is like a stranger to Carole, and over the past five years, this silent illness has crept up on this happy couple and taken away their contented way of life. "It's a shame because he was such a gentle soul. I have to get someone in to do the painting - he used to be able to do all that," said Carole. When Carole checked to see if there was an Alzheimers support group in Cavan, she was somewhat disappointed to learn that no such support network existed. She made contact with the Alzheimers Day Nurse in Cavan and was informed that all that could be done was to put in day respite care or visit the home in the instance where the person is very debilitated. When she asked would they mind if she started a group, Carole was told that was a great idea. She is going to tell the people at the daycare centre and give her name and number to them. "It would be great for people like myself to get talking to people in the same position as myself. I just want to talk to other people who are experiencing the same thing," she says. "Maybe we could commence by having informal meetings in the Farnham Hotel and have a chat with like minded people in the same position," added Carole. She has set this Friday, May 7, as the date of the first meeting and people who are interested can call her on 087-2240963. Feel free to drop into the Farnham Hotel between 11am and 12.30pm. Carole and Jack had living in Dublin for years and moved up to the Ballyjamesduff area in 2002. They moved really because their children could not afford houses in Dublin. "When they came up here, we decided to move up to the area with them," she reveals. Jack was diagnosed with Alzheimers just over four years ago and Carole had noticed a change in him three years before that. It started with a deterioration in his memory and his power of reasoning is gone and he can't figure things out - like hanging a shirt on a hanger. He was an excellent builder and built houses from scratch and he was also a brilliant carpenter by trade. "It amazing what this illness has done to him - he can't make a cup of tea now," said Carole. "Jack's co-ordination and short-term memory is gone. Last week, I asked him to put the black bin out and he actually put the green bin out. Jack hardly speaks and if he does say something, it does not make sense," says Carole. "There is no interaction between us any more and if I went away for the day, he would not even notice I was gone," she adds, sadly. "I have lost my best friend and we are 43 years married and we had a great marriage. We have three grown-up children that are married and we have nine grandchildren. Our son Graham is married and lives next door." Their daughter Lisa lives down in Ballyjamesduff and the eldest daughter lives in Co. Mayo. Carole also looks after her 90-year-old mother. While Alzheimers is a form of dementia, it is also a physical disease. Jack has lost strength and people with Alzheimers can shrink into themselves and become very weak. "He must sleep about 18 hours a day - as soon as he sits down he goes to sleep. He does not wander outside but if we were in the supermarket, he would just wander off with different people," explains Carole. She says it is sad that it has got to the point where they are really strangers. "He has not forgotten my name or my mother's name or the family's name. But seldom uses them because he does not really talk. I can see the frustration on his face when he tries to put a sentence together but by the time he has spoken a few words, he has forgotten what he wants to say. It is now that bad and the words do not really come out properly," says Carole. Jack started out by forgetting things and then he started to get very quiet. "It just crept up on us and the illness is so hard to diagnose. He was well into the illness when it was discovered what was wrong," recalls Carole. An active golfer up until a few years ago, Jack and Carole enjoyed a round of golf on the golf course. They recently took Jack out on the Crover House Hotel golf course and Carole is constantly thinking of things for him to do, so that he can get some exercise. Buy, she can't allow him to do any gardening or cut hedges, in case he gets injured. Carole said she was so surprised that Cavan was one of the few counties in Ireland with no Alzheimers Support Group. Since Carole took the initiative, a number of people have already contacted her and intend to go along to the first informal meeting in the Farnham Hotel. • If you wish to contact Carole, call 087-2240963.