Our 'favourite' horse-burger gags of the week

The recent horse-burger scandal has seen some rib(-eye)-tickling gags do the rounds, it would behoof us all to pull up some of the best runners and riders from the past week which has hampered appetites for beef (not salmon). The favourites: "To beef or not to beef? That is the equestrian." "The local supermarket has an offer on eight beef burgers - low in fat, high in Shergar." "Did you hear that supermarkets were checking their bar codes for traces of Zebra?" "A man walks into a chipper and asks for a burger. 'What do you want on it?' asks the guy behind the counter. 'A fiver each-way'." "Does anyone have a tooth pick? I had a burger last night and there's still a bit between my teeth." The field: A motorist gets breathalysed by a guard. The machine beeps. "You're over the limit," says the guard. "I only had a burger," says the confused man. "That explains it," says the guard. "I knew I could smell Red Rum." A burger walks into a bar: "Pint, please.' "What? I can't hear you," says the barman. "Sorry. I'm a little bit horse." "I bought some burgers online, I just clicked 'add to cart'." "Sir, we've discovered horse meat in your burgers." Supermarket boss: "Why the long face?" "Have you heard that hamburgers is an anagram of Shergar Bum?" "What do you call a burned burger? Black Beauty." "Despite the recent news, the local supermarket says that their beef burger sales remain stable because it's not the mane ingredient." "I ordered a burger the other day - and told them to hold the dressage, which was a side saddle with neighonnaise." Bringing up the rear: "My doctor old me to watch what I eat, so I bought tickets for Punchestown." "They've found horse meat in burgers? It's an unbridled disaster." "Are you in favour of horse meat in your burgers? Yay or Neigh?" "I've got some in the fridge. But, they're offffff!" "They would have gotten away with it, too, if it wasn't for the DN neigh test."