Christmas not the time of joy for alienated family members

ACF say the suffering of children and parents continues and it is worsened by COVID-19 restrictions

A campaign group is asking people to think also of parents spending time alone having been unjustifiably alienated from their children this Christmas.

"Many of these Kids will be denied a present, a card, a text message, a zoom or even a phone call. Sadly this is often the means of control and/or vindictiveness aimed at the parent but performed at the kids’ expense. Some Children will be told lies or psychologically manipulated to turn against their own mum or dad,” says Alienated Children First (ACF). “This is the heartbreaking reality of parental alienation. It could be another unhappy time for many mums and dads you pass on the street wishing them happy Christmas and not knowing that their hearts are aching!”

Richard Hogan Family Psychotherapist and TV Presenter on Parental Alienation said at a recent webinar on the subject: ”People have died because of this thing [parental alienation], that's the reality. Died from suicide absolutely. It has killed people there's no doubt!”

He feels this message needs to be told “because you see first of all the absolute annihilation of a family [by parental alienation].”

In July 2020, Minister of Justice Helen McEntee described parental alienation in the Dáil as  “a situation when a child’s resistance or hostility towards one parent is not justified and is the result of psychological manipulation by the other parent.”

Yet ACF say the suffering of children and parents continues and it is worsened by COVID-19 restrictions where excuses are created to block children from seeing their parent.

The group shared a letter from an alienated mother:

My Christmas…

So many people take things for granted not thinking it can be any different for others. So there is Christmas… the time of giving and sharing…  the time of closeness, togetherness, love and laughter, the green of the tree and the dancing of the candles’ shadows on the wall,  the presents and the smells, the beauty of the lights and the warmth by the fire…

I close my eyes and I can clearly see it, as it was…but it is not anymore…

I fear the Christmas buzz, the shops stocked with lights and stars, Christmas songs on the radio, Santa grottoes and houses decorated for the most joyful time of the year…

I walk the streets and drop my eyes whenever I am passed by strangers. I hear them say: “Happy Christmas!” but my voice gets stuck before it leaves my mouth,  so I say nothing in response…

I get back to the house and go straight to bed wishing the day to be over.

It is no home for me anymore.  No table set for the meal.  No presents to be found in the morning. The silence that is piercing my heart and screaming for my children who want me no more… A very lonely place to be….

I love you. I miss you. I always will. Happy Christmas my dear Boys! Let that star take this message to you please…

From the Heart of an Alienated Mum