Ignorance is far from bliss
The Good Life
Gemma Good
January 12, 2022 news of the murder of primary school teacher Ashling Murhpy shocked the country. Now, three months on we find ourselves in the same position again.
On April 11 the body of Aidan Moffitt was discovered at his home in a housing estate in Sligo Town. The circumstances are “unexplained” however the victim had reportedly endured “significant physical injuries”. Murder, we later learn. The next day, Tuesday night, Gardaí are called to another murder scene at an apartment in Sligo Town. Michael Snee has suffered what are again described as “significant physical injuries.”
A 22 year old man has since been charged with murdering both men.
Again, we find ourselves confused, scared and upset. Light-hearted conversations turn solemn and expressions become grave when the tragedies are mentioned.
“Did you hear?”
“I did, I did.”
“Tis’ awful.”
“Awh quit, homophobic I heard.”
“Aye someone said that alright, what is it anyway?”
It’s easy knowing I was at home in Cavan for Easter week hearing these little snippets of conversations, guilty as charged for eavesdropping. To those who don’t know, homophobia is the prejudice or discrimination towards people in the LGBTQ+ community. To further that explanation, LGBTQ stands for people who are lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender queer or questioning. The ‘+’ symbol is inclusive of all other people in this community. So no, nowadays people are not just ‘straight’ and that is completely okay.
The word homophobic comes into the murders in Sligo as one line of garda inquiry is that the two men met their killer on an online dating app.
Online dating apps are widely used among all age groups, especially now that we are coming out of a pandemic. I know people who are now in very happy relationships after meeting online, I know people who meet various different people in one week just for the fun of it. I also know people who just sit and swipe out of pure boredom, striking up random conversations without any intention of meeting up with anyone. I even know people in relationships who use dating apps - I think some conversations need to be had here.
Anyway, my point is, with online dating apps you never really know what intention the person on the screen has. Their photos might be absolutely stunning, their descriptions, likes and dislikes might meet yours exactly and you’re sitting there thinking this is a perfect match. My advice? Hold off on the wedding planner, sure it might not even be them at all. My experience with dating apps is six or seven girls sitting staring in at one screen trying to come up with a response to a pick-up line that no one should ever be reared to think of, let alone type and send. Little does that person know fourteen, sixteen or maybe even twenty eyes have seen what they have just sent. For this reason, I am not at all a fan of dating apps.
Aside from the dating app element, the events in Sligo also reminded me of my past self. Being reared in Cavan, I was never really in contact with members of the LGBTQ+ community. It was something we were taught about in class, but then again we were also taught algebra and when does anybody use it in the real world? For this reason I was never ever against people in the community, but they were something that was put up on a screen in a classroom. We were told they used different pronouns and there were so many different terms coming at me at once. I remember thinking that this would go into the algebra section of my brain, it was too much learning that didn’t concern me. I’ll just avoid these people, I won’t have to use these terms, nobody gets offended, I can chat during class and everybody is happy.
Fast forward a few years, I was working in this very newspaper for the summer and I was asked to do a gay pride feature. Well I was never so scared in my life. I really wished I listened in those classes. What if I offend someone? I’ll say the wrong thing, get complaints sent in about me, have my career ruined before it even begins. Petrified was an understatement. I did the interviews anyway with my hands literally shaking as I dialled the phone numbers. I spoke with a gay couple and a transgender woman. Contrary to my initial beliefs, the interviews went brilliant, they were really interesting and I didn’t offend anybody. Just like any other interview I have ever done in my career to date.
Then fast forward another few months. I begin college and there are members of the LGBTQ+ community in my year group. Again, I was afraid. They are different from me and my friends at home, stay away, you will say something wrong, I told myself. I got on really well with my housemates, but the people on my course were very different. Naturally we were put into groups for projects and assignments and I realised that these people are no different from me at all. One of my close friends in college is gay, and it makes me really sad to think that past me would have avoided him because I was scared of saying the wrong thing.
Ignorance is an awful thing, in my experience anyway.