‘It's more than just putting a roof over their heads’

“My job as a foster parent is to look out for the kids; their happiness is above yours.”

The sentiments of Laura Halpin from Mountnugent who, together with her husband Norbert and their two grown-up children Sarah and Colin, have been fostering since 2020. The couple currently have two foster children, siblings, who have happily immersed themselves into the family since their arrival over two years ago.

“Myself and my husband had talked about becoming involved in fostering over the years and decided that, when our children grew up, we’d think about it again,” Laura told the Celt this week.

“So, in September 2019 we decided to go ahead with our plan and made contact with Fostering First Ireland (FFI). We chatted to our children about it, our daughter was no longer living at home and Colin was doing his Leaving Cert, because when you decide to foster children it’s a decision that impacts the whole family.”

FFI is an independent fostering agency that works in partnership with Tusla, the Child and Family Agency in Ireland. It matches foster parents and children and supports foster families.

New start

Laura says the people at FFI were “fantastic” because they interviewed her children individually and addressed any concerns they had at the time. “They felt very included in the process and that’s very important as well,” added Laura.

“We started the process by doing a foundation course over three days in Mullingar during the month of November and then went through to assessment. We had just finished the process and had all our documentation ready for submission to the fostering board in early March 2020 when the COVID-19 pandemic came along and everything shut down.”

As a result, the process was held up for a couple of months so it was July before the Halpin’s were finally approved for fostering. In August, they got their first placement.

“The children who first came to us were aged nine and 16 and they were siblings… We try to foster siblings actually; we have the space and it’s better to keep siblings together if we can at all. One went back to her mum after two years and the other went onto college but comes back to us at the weekends. The other child visits during the holidays.”

Laura feels in the main, fostering is a “positive experience” for her but accepts the foster children can be going through a “rough time” in their lives and there can be challenges.

The first time a foster child left was difficult.

“I was heartbroken when one of the children went back to her mum, and at that stage we took some respite for a few months so that we could take it on again. We got a little baby then who was only a few months old and a teenager who came to us once a month over a six-month period for the weekend. So, the children’s circumstances differ as do the children's needs.”

Laura admits to being soft hearted. “I just love them from the moment they arrive, what other way would you be with children? So it can be tough when they do go back to their parents. Having said that, we probably need to see more children in foster care going back home and hopefully that is something that will happen in the future.

“My job as a foster parent is to look out for the kids; their happiness is above yours. You get all the training you need, visits to psychologists, etc, so the supports that foster parents need are there for us in FFI.”

Now, the Halpin’s are fostering two children, siblings; they attend the local school and are very much part of the community in which they live. “The children were three and five when they came to us and they arrived two years ago,” added Laura.

“It’s a busy house and I realise now that I wasn’t ready for empty nest syndrome. It has been lovely to see how confident they have become and how the environment we have provided has really helped them to grow and develop and not have the worries they would have had previously.”

Rewarding

Laura shares how her family got into fostering- with a big house to share and the couple’s still relative young age- that there was an opportunity for them to “give back”.

“When you see a child emerging into his or her own after only being with you for a couple of weeks, it's the most wonderful feeling,” she describes.

“When they find their voice and know that it’s safe to talk, it’s just amazing to see that. It’s not all roses, of course it isn’t, there are challenges but it's the same with your own kids and you just move on, forget about stuff and keep going.”

She says her foster children bring such “joy” to her life and that of her family. “Even my son, he lights up when he sees them. He’d often sit and watch TV with them or just go out on the bikes together or play football. We have created a lovely family environment and yes, fostering is a very rewarding experience.

“It’s also something that, once you become involved in it, you don’t stop. You’re always a foster parent. It is a big commitment and does impact all aspects of your life; I work part time now - two mornings a week from home and that suits me perfectly to be honest.”

Fostering First Ireland

Laura found having the back up of an agency like FFI was a great support to her family.

“FFI really does advocate for me as a foster carer on behalf of the kids; I have a social worker now, which is really helpful, but there is a need for more foster carers to come on board,” Laura continued.

“For these kids it's more than just putting a roof over their heads. They need to be part of a family, a community. People who are interested in becoming a foster parent could even start out with respite - maybe taking a child for a night or organising a family event and including the child in that. There are numerous elements to fostering and becoming part of it all,” she explained.

“There are children with no place to go, no place to call home and that is very, very sad and there are numerous families who could and should support those children.”

Ever thought about becoming a foster parent?

Over 6,500 children in Ireland are in care with many waiting for a safe and loving family environment where they can thrive. In Cavan and Monaghan, there were 165 children in care at the end of January 2025, according to the latest published figures from Tusla.

Fostering a child can be one of the most rewarding experiences.

To become a foster parent:

- You must be over the age of 25

- You need a spare bedroom

- You need a full driving licence

- You must have flexibility in your working arrangements

- If you are fostering as a couple, you will need to have been together for three years and living together for at least one year

- If you have children, your youngest child must be at least three years

To become a foster parent in Ireland, you can do so directly through Tusla as the state agency for fostering or via independent agencies, such as FFI, which work with Tusla.

You can contact Tusla at 086 183 3760 or 086 183 3761, or use the online enquiry form at fostering.ie

To find out more about FFI, log on to www.fosteringfirstireland.ie and submit an enquiry. The process takes five to six months and includes interviews and background checks.