Lavinia bids Ballyconnell Central School farewell

“When I went to meet the children on that last day, there were two things I wanted them to remember from me: one was to be kind to each other; the other thing is that mistakes are good, mistakes are opportunities to learn.

“If they could just go out with that,” hopes Lavinia Tilson, former principal of Ballyconnell Central School having retired in July last year. The school recently held a retirement party where her devotion spanning 30 years was celebrated by students, family members, school staff and the board of management.

“Emotional,” was how she described setting foot in the school again nearly 10 months since retiring.

“It was emotional, it was something that I kind of had been dreading in my own sense but it was very special. It was the children telling their stories in the way the children tell them. It was lovely.

“I have retired early because of ongoing health problems,” Lavinia explains, adding she had not been in the school for the year and a half beforehand. “From September I realised that I would never be going back to do the job that I had always wanted to do and loved doing. So, I found it very hard psychologically and emotionally from September right through until Christmas.”

Family

It has taken the mother of two the past few months to “accept it, embrace it, and go on with it” which she did with the help of husband John and children Laura and Andrew. For Lavinia, the school became a sort of second home, between teaching her two children there as well as working alongside her late mother Evelyn, a special needs assistant.

She also considered her work colleagues “family”, while her home family were recruited on an annual basis to pitch in with decorating and re-arranging for the school’s re-opening after summer. The reward? A takeaway eaten in the school when the work was finished.

Now, still the school teacher she trained to be, Lavinia sits with a plan in front of her, a page completely overcome with red pen thoughts of important points in her career.

Looking back, the 53-year-old doesn’t remember a time when she didn’t want to be a teacher. From the age of five, she knew this was the career path she would take. Growing up, she attended St John’s National School in Edgeworthstown, where her teacher Mamie Cunningham, the sole teacher in the school, had a “huge influence” on her education.

“She inspired me to be it [a teacher]. She definitely was that strong influence all along.

“She incorporated the arts at a time when art wasn’t a thing. My favourite part of the day was doing art and craftwork.”

Another influential figure in this regard was her father, Canon Billy Stafford, who worked as a secondary school teacher.

“Perhaps it was in the DNA there somewhere, but I never remember wanting to do anything else,” she says.

After attending Ardscoil Phadraig in Granard, she gained a place in Coláiste Moibhí , where she went to “enhance” her level of Irish.

“All of the training colleges had preparatory colleges but they had been closed by the department, but the one for the Church of Ireland had been left open, primarily because there was a tradition that the Church of Ireland schools didn’t have the same level of Irish standard.

“That gave me a huge love for Irish and that also had a huge influence in my teaching.”

She then did three years at Trinity College before qualifying in 1992 and earning her first post in a primary school in Raphoe, Donegal. She remained there for two years before beginning at Ballyconnell Central School.

Lucky

Lavinia considers herself “very lucky” to have worked under two principals who shaped her career, Pearl Miller in Donegal and Margaret Moore in Ballyconnell.

“They gave me the grounding for teaching, they gave me that practical experience.

“It was their respect for their fellow teachers, their fellow staff, for the children and for the parents. Their mentorship was invaluable.”

Lavinia began in Ballyconnell when it was a two-teacher school, with no learning support teachers, no ancillary staff, no secretary. There was also no phone and no photocopier. In 1999, she was appointed principal a post she retained until last year.

Of the passing years, she observes: “They went very quickly”.

She was trained under the 1972 curriculum, and underwent the “big change” when the new curriculum came about in 1999 when SPHE and sex education was first taught in schools.

“They were all huge changes,” she outlines, adding that it was more about “integration” and was “more child centred”.

“The children are the same, children might come from different backgrounds now but they were still children and they still had the same needs.

“Now we have the new one [curriculum] coming.

“I had seen one right through so maybe it was time for new kids on the block to take over,” she laughs.

In 2008, another change came when the department gave a grant to build a “whole new school”.

“It was a dream or a vision that I never anticipated that I would see. I had 15 years teaching in the old school, which was a wooden prefab, and 15 years in the new school.”

While the new building was very welcome, she describes the “lack of funding” for resources for children with additional needs as a challenge she faced over the 30 years; one she believes remains to this day.

While supports “improved greatly” with more learning supports and special needs assistants, she adds “you always had to fight for it.”

“They [children] deserve it, it’s a right that they should have. That has been the biggest challenge over the years.

“It does remain,” she says, describing the issue as “an ongoing challenge”.

She notes there is “such a waiting list” for an ‘assessment of need’ for children across the county, without the results of which, “you can’t get the additional resources”.

Privilege

Lavinia considers it a “privilege” to have taught other people’s children.

“Children are what’s most important to any parent, your child’s education is fundamental for the foundation of their lives and I hope that my influence on that has been positive. We all make mistakes, I know I would have made mistakes as well but I hope that the children I saw leaving gained something.”

She took a “child-centred” approach to teaching with influences from her own days in the classroom. She incorporated “a lot” of arts and crafts, cooking, cake decorating, and “different opportunities”, even camping.

“It wasn’t about having the highest scores in something, it was about valuing the child, who they were and what they could do.

“I love meeting past students and I love hearing about their lives. To me it’s been a blink of an eye.”

To those now starting out in teaching, she shared words of advice that her own father gave to her: “have a good work ethic.”

“Daddy always said to me that you don’t make it easy for the last month in June.

“I was very much one of those people that still gave homework right up until the day of the holidays. I only introduced the idea of watching the film on the last day in recent years,” she laughs.

“Number two was respect,” her father advised.

“Respect every parent and respect every child. It doesn’t matter what their academic abilities are - respect - if you give respect to a child you’ll get it back.”

As principal, she didn’t believe in hierarchy.

“Everybody was equal,” she says.

“Listen to parents. If parents are coming in they are worried. That’s the only reason they’re coming in.”

“I’d like to think the real legacy is that I taught children to be kind and honest and that we make mistakes.”

Now “to keep the mind active” Lavinia will continue her work on the state board of the Ulster-Scots agency, on the board of management for Youth Reach in Cavan and Monaghan and as one of the founding member of Be Buddies Not Bullies, while also taking “more time” for her hobbies of craft and cake decorating.

“Family time,” will also factor largely in her retirement.

Lavinia thanked everybody she has worked with over the years; parents, children, the school board of management, surrounding schools and community groups. She also wished the new principal Linda Kingston, a past student, well in her new position who will start teaching next week.

“I wish her all the best and the school all the best going forward,” she concludes.