Finding connections in a dojo
WordSmith
Gerard Smith
The singer/songwriter Lilly Allen recently released her album ‘West End Girl’ after a seven year hiatus. It’s an emotionally raw record that explicitly details the breakdown of her second marriage. Described as a concept album, the songs are written consecutively like chapters of a book with each one revealing threads of a relationship breakdown.
I listened to it open-mouthed, like I was eavesdropping on a personal conversation about salacious marital affairs. Which of course I was, along with the millions more who’ve contributed to the album’s considerable success (there’s money to be made in celebrity tea spilling).
Song six on the album has a rude title so I’ll politely omit it. But for context, the song tells the story of how Lilly discovers a second apartment of her husband’s is being used to host his seedy solicitations. She sings the catchy chorus in her soft soprano, the sweet melody at odds with her lyrical pain on discovering her husband’s apartment(al) deception “…I always thought it was a dojo, dojo, dojo…”
Immediately I paused the track to google the word ‘dojo’ (the week of the album’s release ‘dojo’ was the most googled word in the UK). The result: Dojo (noun) a room or hall in which judo or other martial arts are practised. In Lilly’s case, she finds it was extra-marital affairs her spouse was practising, a practice far removed from martial-arts.
The album hit a nerve with me, opening scars of personal betrayals in my own past romantic relationships (I’ll leave them for the book). I was head humming song #6 while having coffee with two friends when I randomly asked, “Do either of you know what a dojo is?” Daniel didn’t hesitate, “Yes, I use one, come down and visit it.” And so on a crisp and sunny November morning I found myself walking to a building that has iconic status in the memories of many Cavan men – The Scouts Den.
I was intrigued, as not being the scouting type I’d never been inside the building; until I opened the door and walked into my first dojo. I was immediately struck by the atmosphere, it was one of quiet reverence; and I stepped back for fear I was intruding. But Daniel welcomed me in and I took a seat on the side-lines. I watched a mixed-age group of men and women prepare to practice Kendo, a modern Japanese martial-art developed as a safe form of sword training for samurai.
I arrived as the robed Kendoki (people who practice Kendo) were finishing their warm up and beginning to put on: protective metal grilled head pieces, padded mittens, and a breastplate; Daniel informed me of the Japanese names and provenance of these items. Watching this process I became aware of another atmosphere in the dojo, it was the sense of calm that’s generated through ritual. The Kendoki knelt while applying their breastplates, securing them to their bodies with ties; there was no rush, only the mindfulness that comes from routine.
Once fully robed and masked the Kendoki looked mightily impressive with a cinematic presence that really emphasised the art of Kendo.
Afterwards, while walking up the road, I couldn’t help but smile at the synchronicity of the experience; of how a London Popstar’s song took me into a Cavan dojo and introduced me to Kendo. The world of psychology speak of such synchronicity as, “Meaningful-connections.” But that morning I struggled to find one, I mean how do you connect a Lilly Allen song to the martial-art of Kendo? I settled on it being mere coincidence.
But sometime later I met Daniel and we got talking. He told me more about Kendo and as he spoke a ‘meaningful-connection’ presented itself to me. Where Lilly Allen’s art tells of the trauma in the combative breakdown of trust in human relations; the art of Kendo does the opposite, by building trust through controlled combat. Apart from the physical benefits of the exercise in Kendo, there’s the discipline and mutual respect that comes from forming trustful bonds with others – I now know that’s where the art in martial is.
And the connections continued, for Daniel is the creator of the digital platform: Cavan Connects, “In the heart of Ireland, Cavan is pioneering a digital transformation with the Cavan Connects Network, a comprehensive initiative aimed at enhancing digital literacy and fostering a connected community.”
Ultimately, Cavan Connects is an enterprise that will position Cavan as a future thinking digital-champion. From a song to a dojo to digital-champions – there’s a whole lot of meaning in those connections.