'I'm living my best life'

Leaving the past in the past and leading an independent life is not a New Year’s resolution for Emily Gavin, but a way of life.

The 18-year-old is a proud member of the travelling community and is hoping to inspire other young women to get an education and lead a path self-determination.

Emily is pursuing a dog grooming and cookery course at Cavan Institute, and despite not yet knowing what she wants to do in life, she is determined to be the author of her own future.

“Traveller girls are taught to do certain things; they are taught to clean, cook and mind children from the ages of ten or eleven.”

While Emily was shown each of these skills, and she plans to use them at some stage, cleaning, cooking and minding children are the last things on her mind now. As is marriage.

“It’s put into their [traveller girl’s] heads when they’re such an age that they have to get married, when they don’t actually need to get married, but that’s what’s stuck in their head.

“I think when they do get married they don’t have a bit of independence.”

Emily strongly believes “it shouldn’t be that way”.

“Sixteen up to eighteen is a very young age [for marriage].”

Having to “drop out” of education at a certain age is also an expectation within the Travelling community, according to Emily.

Growing up, she admits that marriage was on her mind, however once she started going to college, “something just clicked” for her.

“I have loads of time yet,” she now asserts.

Through her own experiences and that of the community around her, she knows that mental health is a “big thing” among Travellers and has learned that opening up can lead to positive outcomes.

The fear of being seen to be “feeling sorry” for yourself is what she believes prevents people from reaching out.

“I went through a rough stage in my life and I had nobody to talk to. Young people, not just Travellers, I feel like they try to ignore their feelings or they try to distract themselves by doing other things and then it’s going to end up blowing a fuse because they can’t cope anymore.

“It’s only a matter of time before it gets worse,” she believes.

Friends

Emily spoke to her counsellor in Youth Reach, who she describes as “very understanding”.

“It did help me a good bit but when I started college that helped me even more because I was making new friends. I was very lonely because I had barely any friends, maybe one or two.”

Upon starting college in September last year, Emily believes she “finally found” who she is.

Rather than trying to “fit in” Emily’s focus has shifted to “being myself”.

“I still am a Traveller to this day,” she adds.

Emily says it is “not really” common to pursue further education within the community. She knows of five other Travellers within Cavan Institute.

“I think young ones shouldn’t be thinking about getting married, they should be thinking about their future and having their own bit of independence.”

Independence for Emily looks like having her own source of income and her own car so that she doesn’t have to rely on anyone but herself, and she is currently working towards both. Her current college course finishes in May, and while she plans to return to Cavan Institute, she is unsure what course she will pursue.

“There’s plenty of choices there for me.”

“It’s actually good, I can get along with anybody in my class. I think it’s good for any young one to go and do.”

“I’m glad that I actually did go to college because I’ve made a load of new friends along the way. It is good.”

Example

As the eldest of four girls, Emily hopes she is setting a good example for her siblings, and she “would like to think” for other young girls within the community too.

“I’m living my best life at the moment to be honest.

“I am proud [to be a Traveller] but I feel like I’ve changed in many ways, and I think in good ways. I feel like the community itself is changing a bit but there’s some things that are still the same.

“There’s more Traveller girls going to college, making a life for themselves and having a bit of independence,” she reasons.

“It has changed a bit but there are more changes to come. I’m just hoping that a few of the young ones can open up their eyes and use their brain and think ‘What am I doing?’

“They need to think about the future and have a back up plan, especially with education, you get more opportunities when you have an education.”