Only fools and Marilyn Monroe

WordSmith

Gerard Smith

I’m a morning person. I love the promise held in the dawn of a new day. The early morning air is still and calm, allowing sound to travel further than it does later in the day. That’s why birds sing at first light – it’s the perfect time for their song to reach a potential mate further afield. I often rise with the lark and sing along on my morning walks, though alas my song has yet to attract a mate. Still, I shall continue to sing in hope.

Last Sunday I woke at 4am, when I wake up I get up. Besides, a friend was picking me up at 5.30am as we’d arranged to go to Moynehall to try our hand at market-trading. Fuelled by coffee and the saying, “One man’s clutter is another man’s butter,” I rifled through the shed and grabbed a few bits and bobs to add to my bags of bootie.

With the boot packed we sped off, like a pair of Reliant Regal plonkers heading towards a lovely-jubbly day. Despite the early hour the market was already alive with traders claiming the best pitches and buyers seeking early bird bargains.

My fellow trader and I were obviously seen as naïve-newbies for almost immediately we were surrounded by Del Boy like characters staking out our wares with their seasoned eyes, “How much are ya looking for that lamp?” asked one. I hesitated, “I don’t know.” Deco Doyle acted swiftly, “Here, I’ll give you that for it,” he said, handing me a note and leaving with the lamp. So thrilled was I with my first sale I didn’t question the price. I suspect the lamp was sold on for a hefty profit; in trading terms that’s called a successful flip.

Flip that – I channelled my inner Del Boy and set about sharpening my bartering skills. I sold a pair of Victorian chimney-sweep boots for a decent price, along with a crystal vase and a painting of a cairn terrier still sealed in cellophane. I also had a watch, boxed and labelled ‘Simon Carter’, which had languished in a draw for years. As sharp-eyed browsers drifted by, one stopped and asked, “How much for the Cartier Watch?”

Yikes – I could have passed it off as a Cartier and pocketed a small fortune – but I didn’t. The Carter went to a good home for a fair price.

As the morning moved on we breakfasted on tuna sandwiches, salty chips from the chipper van, and coke zero; then the friend sold five pairs of shoes – result. Leaving my friend to man the stall, I took off to explore the market. I was struck by its size and the sheer variety of items on offer. At Moynehall market you can find everything from tractor parts to tea sets, and every imaginable item in between.

Now, here’s where I bring Marilyn Monroe into the picture, literally. Gentlemen Prefer Blondes, and Gentle Ladies do, too. Two ladies stopped to look at the picture. The framed image had been lying face down under a bed in the back bedroom of our house for a long while: dusty and fusty. It’s a black and white documentary style photograph of Marilyn taken from behind as she’s doing her hair in the mirror. One lady asked, “How much for the picture?” When I mentioned the price, she noted a little damage and I revised my price, accordingly. There followed a little back-and-forth before we settled on a price and I let it go, happy it would hang on someone’s wall rather than going back under the bed. Marilyn was my penultimate sale, and when I finally sold a retro digital clock I was happy to call it a day with a triumphant, “Lovely-jubbly.”

This is where I confess to being a proper-plonker. When sitting down to write this column I decided to google the photographer of the Marilyn picture. My skin began to bristle as I read: ‘Eve Arnold (OBE), an American photojournalist who frequently photographed Marylin Monroe, including candid style photos on the film set of The Misfits (1961).

Reluctantly I googled information about the current worth of her work, and in so doing my skin switched from bristle to prickle. The search results informed me: ‘A limited edition signed print by Eve Arnold depending on size and the amount of prints in circulation could fetch anywhere between $5.000 to $12.500. I sold it for a fiver – OUCH!

Still, as Del Boy would say, “C’est la vie.”