A walk into my favourite Christmas movie

As I grow older this time of year instils a melancholy in me; it feels like a small bundle of sorrow that sits in the pit of my stomach, rising like reflux making my heart ache for the loved ones who’ve left our terrestrial world for the celestial.

And so it was on a recent Sunday past I was feeling down in the doldrums. The day didn’t help, it was grey with dark skies. I checked my weather app which told me we were in for non-stop rain accompanied by high winds. I slumped and told myself the weather was going to be ‘The Grinch who stole Cavan’s Christmas Market.’

I was ‘Home Alone’ and had chores to do in preparation for the arrival of my brother and his wife. But my heart wasn’t in it, so I made like ‘Bad Santa’ and readied to walk into town. Before I set off I noticed it was like night-time outside, yet this darkness reminded me of the brightness I’d been given the previous day. Saturday, I’d agreed to go to a ‘Reminiscence Group’ but arrived as it was ending ‘Bad Santa 2.’ Making my apologies I had a little banter with friends: Michelle and Declan. As I was saying my goodbye Declan said, “Oh by the way, I’ve got something for you.” He reached into his pocket and handed me a thing; I say that because I didn’t initially know what it was.

But as I retrieved the thing from my bag on that dark Sunday morning, I realised this thing was a life-saver. It was one of those small high-vis jackets designed specifically to fit over back-packs. It fitted my back-pack perfectly. As I set off for town my sorrow-bundle unfurled a little and I felt ‘Spirited’– for the little high-vis jacket is the most mindful thing I’ve ever been given.

Arriving in town I was stopped by a poster advertising a memorial run raising funds for two men, one of whom I got to know towards the end of his life. My spirits lifted a little further at the realisation I lived in a community keeping the memory of these men alive, I thought to myself that’s ‘Love, actually.’

Strolling onwards I looked to the heavens and at that moment they literally opened – I ran to take shelter in a café. Sitting down with a coffee I took out my notebook and began writing this column. As the rain pattered against the window I thought to myself, It will take a ‘Miracle on Town Hall Street’ to salvage this year’s Christmas Market. As the rain continued, a smidgen of optimism pulled at my sorrow-bundle and I told myself that whatever the weather you’ll always get the ‘Die-hards’ who’ll come to market; the ones who insist ‘Die Hard’ is a Christmas movie. Then the rain stopped.

As darkness descended and it remained dry I decided to venture down to the market; proudly carrying my back-pack swaddled in high-vis-gold. As I neared the market square I heard Christmas carols and quickened my pace.

Turning the corner I was treated with a sight to behold – the market square teemed with people, their warm chatter creating backing vocals for the carol singers. Strolling through the throng I met Santy who said, “Hello Gerard, I enjoy reading your column.” Santy’s words were a gift that unravelled more of my sorrow-bundle and I continued on down the festively festooned street, filled with laughing children and smiling adults.

Outside the Town Hall I was met with the fabulously uplifting sight of Fanzini and his disco-ball bedecked head, he gave me a wide smile and a thumbs up – my sorrow-bundle unravelled some more. Wandering around I felt like I was in a Christmas Movie, an extra in a narrative full of colourful characters and good cheer, exactly like ‘A Christmas Story.’

“Hello Gerard,” a woman’s salutation pulled me out of that movie; and as we chatted I found myself walking towards another one. We spoke of our passed parents, but not in a maudlin way; the sharing of empathy was a soothing-balm to my sorrow-bundle. Despite the sadness of our conversational subject, there was joy in it; which was bolstered by the woman’s beauty and the sheer ebullience of her young son. Then, quite spontaneously, she gave me a hug which made my sorrow-bundle completely unravel and fall away. I walked towards some funky music and straight into my all-time favourite Christmas Movie ‘It’s a Wonderful Life.’

HAPPY CHRISTMAS