'You are not alone'

Cavan’s Multicultural Women’s Shed hosted a silent awareness installation on Friday to raise awareness on domestic abuse.

They also aimed to remind anyone experiencing abuse that they are not alone, and that help is available.

Visitors and passersby to the ‘You Are Not Alone’ exhibit on Market Square saw a silent installation of red women’s shoes, each accompanied by a battery-operated candle.

The shoes symbolise women whose lives have been affected by domestic abuse, while the candles represent remembrance, hope, and solidarity.

While few stopped at the exhibit in the hour the Celt visited, many turned their heads in the direction of the shoes.

“The red shoes symbolise that you are not alone, and they can show women who are being abused that there can be an end,” chairperson of the Multicultural Women’s Shed Group, Tetiana Hrytsyk, told the Celt.

“We know you can’t fight abusers by yourself, it’s impossible. You need some supports, like Safe Ireland who can help you escape and protect you.”

The group are appealing to all women who are experiencing domestic abuse to reach out for help, and also aim to show people who may not be in Ireland for so long that there are supports available to them.

Domestic Abuse Support Worker with Safe Ireland, Leanne Cuffe, was also at the event to help guide women towards the available supports.

“We provide a helpline, which women or a concerned family member can call; perhaps a professional can make contact with us.”

They offer one-to-one support to women, where they “meet them where they are at” and support them “as best we can”. They also provide group supports and accompany women to court and provide advice.

“It allows you to just be that extra support for her on the day, to tell her where she needs to go; where she sits or what door she needs to go through. It just takes that extra bit of pressure off.

“Hopefully we will have our refuge incoming shortly where we can provide accommodation services for women and their family.”

Ms Cuffe says it is likely that some women walking past the red shoes would love to come over and chat, but are too afraid to reach out.

“We would find that at events we would see a lot of people looking over, sometimes people would nod their head just to say that they do see us. It’s quite a taboo topic for a lot of people, I think society has come on leaps and bounds but we do have a lot of work to do in relation to early intervention and awareness.”

Particularly among young people at the moment, she said “a lot of people think love means control”.

“That is having access to their passwords, to their phone, and people don’t have privacy but it is often portrayed as ‘if you trust me, you’ll let me see your phone’.

“That’s not consent that’s coercion. They are coercing you into allowing them to look through your phone. It’s those key things that you need to look for; if ‘yes’ or ‘no’ is not enough for them and they are pushing. If something feels uncomfortable, it usually is.

“There is a difference between if you consent to something and you don’t consent to something,” she said.

Supports

For more information, support or to speak with someone from Safe Ireland, you can call 047-72311 or email cavanmonaghan@safeireland.ie. In an emergency, please always dial 112/999.