Funeral service in Monaghan for couple who died in Spain

Mourners in Ballintra were told being parents was the most important thing in Thomasina and Paddy Tobin's life filled with "love, family and friendship"

THE joint funeral mass of Thomasina (née McArdle) and her husband, Patrick Tobin, combined elements of New Zealand and Irish culture.

Their funeral was held in Our Lady of Knock Church in Thomasina’s parish of Ballintra, south Co Monaghan.

Paddy’s parents, Clare and Mike Tobin, watched the service online from New Zealand. He is survived by his three sisters, Selena, Natasha and Katische.

Thomasina and Paddy died in a jacuzzi incident in Spain on August 24. They leave behind their teenage children, Rhea and Séamus.

After the couple's wicker coffins were brought to the front of the church, Canon Patrick McGinn invited family members and friends to bring symbols of the couple’s lives to the altar.

The first item to be brought up was a framed photo of Thomasina, Paddy, Rhea and Séamus which represented their loving family and the life they had built together in Greenwich, London.

Next was a photo of Patrick with his friends on a skiing trip “showing Paddy’s dual love of sports and friendship,” Fr McGinn told mourners.

The sacred Pounamu greenstone which is found exclusively in the south island of New Zealand and which Paddy’s parents gifted to him when he was 20, was brought up next.

There was laughter from the congregation when Canon McGinn held aloft a framed photo of Thomasina wearing "one of her famous matching tracksuits".

“The 80s were tough for lots of reasons and we have anecdotal evidence that Paddy and Thomasina had, shall we say, some questionable attire” during this era, Fr McGinn said.

In his eulogy, the priest said: “We are all so sad for you who are heartbroken today. We really don’t know what to say. All we can do is huddle in grief around the remains of shattered dreams and what might have been.

“We can just hold you in our hearts today,” he said.

Thomasina is the daughter of Nancy and Tommy McArdle from Cabra. Nancy was the a teacher in the local primary school while Tommy is well-known as a former Monaghan county footballer and one half of the McArdle twins who are famous for their lifetime involvement in local drama, playwriting and television.

Fr McGinn described the couple’s generous nature and how they always welcomed everyone into their London home. He spoke also of Thomasina and Paddy’s meticulous approach to everything they did, which was evident in their careers and their home, he said.

The celebrant said at five feet tall with the booming McArdle laugh, Thomasina was the “smallest biggest person you could ever meet”.

He said she was most like her deceased mother, Nancy McArdle, in that she approached things with grit, determination and tenacity but also with “a softness, love and kindness”.

“Being a mother was the most important thing in Thomasina’s life,” the priest also said.

Paddy Tobin “was a great addition to the McArdle family” who “slotted right in” with the his in-law's antics.

Family members told Fr McGinn of their fond memories of Paddy and Thomasina driving home for Christmas with a boot-full of presents, Paddy’s famous family barbecues and his “incredibly generous hosting”.

He was a quick, adventurous child, who grew up beside the water in Wellington, New Zealand and played many sports including rugby, hockey and cricket. He later took part in marathons and ultra-marathons. “He was mischievous with a great sense of humour and deeply loved by his family,” Fr McGinn told the congregation.

A curious child, Paddy would dismantle things just to see how they worked, a characteristic that served him later in life when he had a successful career in the technology industry.

“His children were the absolute centre of his life,” Fr McGinn said but lifelong friendships struck up in school, then university and later with colleagues, speak of Paddy Tobin’s warm and generous nature.

“He never forgot his Kiwi roots,” Fr McGinn said, “People didn’t pass through Paddy’s life; they stayed.”

The priest then read from the Patrick Kavanagh poem “In Memory of my Mother” because the Iniskeen writer holds a special significance for the McArdle family.

“You are not lying in the wet clay for it is a harvest evening now and we are piling up the ricks against the moonlight and you smile up at us eternally,” Fr McGinn read before offering a prayer up for Paddy’s parents in New Zealand.

As mourners paid their condoleces to the couple’s family and friends, including Thomasina’s father, Tommy and her siblings Kathy, Julianne, John, Elizabeth, Anne Marie, Cera, Septima and Duana, a soloist sang a New Zealand song "Tōku Mana".

The funeral service was followed by a private cremation.