The granny who goes to the gym

Through Immigrant Eyes

Viktoriia Kantseva

Not so long ago, at my local gym, I noticed a group of women in their seventies on the treadmills. They were chatting, laughing and walking at an easy pace, completely comfortable in their surroundings. Later that afternoon, in a coffee shop in town, I saw another group of elegant older ladies sitting together over tea and pastries. I found myself thinking about my own grandmothers and how different my idea of old age was when I was growing up in Ukraine.

I had two very different grandmothers. One of them had worked in the fields and in the garden from an early age. Hard physical work was simply part of her life. She managed the entire household, looked after her family and was always doing something with her hands. That was how she lived, and that was also how she raised her children.

My other grandmother went to university, had a higher education and never cared much for digging in the dirt. Their lives were very different, yet when I think of a Ukrainian grandmother, they have left me with a surprisingly similar picture. It is the garden. It is the warmth of the stove. It is the smell of fresh pies and homemade varenyky, which my grandmother is still an absolute master at making. It is having somewhere to go when you are hungry, someone waiting for you at the table and a plate of something warm appearing almost before you have asked for it.

Both of my grandmothers worked hard all their lives. Sadly, one of them is no longer with us. The other receives a state pension so small that, without help from her family, it would barely cover the basics. This has also made me think about what a country gives back to people after they have spent most of their lives working, raising families and contributing to society.

A pension is more than a monthly payment. It is one of the ways a state recognises the years people have given to it. Ireland has its own challenges, and not every older person here is financially comfortable. But when I look at the women around me, I think about what becomes possible when retirement comes with enough financial security to leave room for more than simply covering the essentials.

There is a certain dignity in being able to decide what to do with your time. You can join a walking group, take a trip, meet friends or spend money on a gym membership without feeling that every euro has to go towards survival. That is something I wish more older people in Ukraine could have too.

In Ukraine, the grandmother I grew up with was usually at home. She was cooking, gardening, looking after grandchildren, preserving vegetables, making cakes or finding something else that needed to be done. Even when she finally sat down, there was usually someone asking her for something.

The Irish grandmothers I see seem more likely to have somewhere else to be. They might have a hiking group on Tuesday, catch up with friends on Wednesday, join a community activity on Thursday and squeeze in a gym session in between. Their grandchildren are still an important part of their lives, but they are not the whole of it.

Of course, every family is different, and Ireland has its own older people who struggle with money, loneliness or health. I would never want to turn a few observations into a picture of every Irish grandmother. Still, the difference has made me think about what we teach our children, often without saying a word.

My Ukrainian grandmothers taught me generosity, resilience and the particular kind of love that appears in the form of a plate of homemade food. They taught me that you look after your family and that there is always room at the table for one more person.

The older women I see around me in Ireland are teaching me something else. They remind me that getting older can still leave plenty of room for curiosity, exercise, travel and all the ordinary things that make life enjoyable. And perhaps one day, when my own daughter has children, I would like to be somewhere in between. I want to be the grandmother who makes the varenyky, because I fully intend to keep that part. But I would also quite like to be the grandmother who puts on her trainers and goes to the gym afterwards. And if my grandchildren call while I am there, they can wait until I’ve finished my workout.