Getting married should be the real priority, not the expensive party

Check out the latest instalment of Jill Kerby's Moneytimes, in which she shares her views about weddings and the wisdom in forking out big money for expensive receptions...

The loss of social gatherings has been one of the biggest disappointments that everyone has had to adjust to since the great Covid-19 pandemic began. I have the greatest sympathy for people who miss socialising with friends in a pub or at a football match, who loved the atmosphere of a packed cinema, the opening night at the theatre, or the sheer fun of concerts. I even know quite a few people who desperately miss working every day – in person - with their colleagues.

The early lockdown period put all of these events on hold and while access to Skype, Zoom and Teams meant that many celebrations and events could be shared online. Since early July gatherings of no more than 50, including staff, have been allowed to gather in other public places like museums, galleries, sporting venues and hotels that can ensure social distancing.

Weddings have been particularly affected these past six months, with just 82 marriages taking place during the lockdown period between March 28 and June 7. Civil marriages only resumed in July and numbers of people permitted to attend both a ceremony in a church and at wedding celebrations are restricted to 50.

Though more recent official figures have not yet been released, marriage registrations are understood to still be a fraction of what they were in 2019 when 20,000 marriages were recorded.

I can understand why many weddings in the early phase of the pandemic were postponed and rescheduled. Large deposits may have been paid to the hoteliers, florists, jewellers, photographers, dress suppliers, limo companies, airlines and hotels. If the bride and groom didn’t take out a comprehensive wedding insurance policy, they may have had to accept vouchers instead of refunds.

Anecdotal evidence suggests that hotels and wedding suppliers were certainly willing to issue vouchers for postponed celebrations. Those who did manage to refund deposits probably did so without any help from their insurers, who have (in many cases) refused to pay out loss of earnings' claims.

The pandemic has been an economic disaster for many couples and for the businesses that catered to them. Widespread cancellations are estimated to have resulted in revenue loss of about €200 million for the hotel sector in the six months between April and September when the vast majority of weddings take place.

The report claimed that at least 3,000 planned weddings that should have taken place to September have so far been deferred until 2021 with dates filling up quickly for peak months. This suggests that many other weddings will not happen until at least 2022.

Clearly, many couples are determined to have a traditional ‘white wedding’ experience and are happy to wait – however long it might take.

And while everyone is perfectly entitled to spend their own money (and even borrowed money) as they see fit, it is an unusually wise couple who understands and accepts that big ticket purchases like a large expensive wedding will come with a ‘utility cost’.

Does a wedding party with 150 guests that costs €15,000 really deliver five times the level of satisfaction and joy than one with say, just 30 guests and a price tag of €3,000?

Is spending €15,000 on a wedding a better use of money than putting a similar amount towards the purchase of a new home, to retrain for a better job, to start a family, or to invest in a tax efficient pension?

Not getting married means missing out on a great deal more than a wedding party – it means postponing important and lucrative legal, medical, inheritance and state pension advantages. They especially miss out on the special treatment that married couples enjoy for income, capital gains and capital acquisition tax purposes.

I’ve never been a fan of extravagant weddings – not just because they are so costly, but because they can be so impersonal. The great pandemic may yet reveal a silver lining, just like the 2008 economic crash did: It will remind couples that getting married is the real priority, not the expensive party.

I suspect there are hundreds and maybe thousands of couples, unsure about their job security and the long-term effects of the pandemic on the economy, who may be very grateful that they can’t proceed with their original wedding plans.

Good luck to them all.