INSIDE STORY: Barking up the right tree

Dog behavioural psychologist EILEEN ROBINSON has just published a fascinating book ‘Life Through A Dog’s Eyes - It’s a Different World’ charting her personal experiences with her own pet dogs - from a destructive labrador in the early years, to her math-loving springer collie cross. Failed dog owner DAMIAN MCCARNEY found out more...

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My dog Peggy is a nutcase. Technically speaking she’s a springer spaniel, but anyone who has one will confirm that springers and nutcases are one and the same. Peggy’s innate nuttiness is compounded by my incompetence in dog training. Our driveway is mined by poo. Whether it’s ‘Down!’, ‘Out’ or ‘Come’, she’s completely unresponsive to my calls. Fetch is an opportunity to grasp the stick and make for the hills. Peggy gnaws anything - in fact everything - within mouth-reach: slippers, shoes, toothbrushes, headphones, electrical sanders, draft excluders, mats, chairs, the kitchen island, my cat, even my hand...
I’ve had her for 10 months and she’s still not even house-trained. In the ’80s it was de rigueur to house-train dogs by rubbing their nose in their piddle and then, holding their paw to scratch the door, so they could warn you the next time they needed to go. Lately I’ve been tempted to resort to the old methods.
“Totally wrong - been there done that,” says Eileen Robinson in her measured, empathetic Grimsby accent, which encourages problem sharing. “There’s still a lot of people do that.”
It worked, the Celt replies, playing devil’s advocate.
“It did work, but how would you like it? When your mum potty trained you, she didn’t stick your nose in it.”
Eileen reassuringly notes that house training is “probably one of the most common problems” experienced by dog owners and while she dismisses the old, brutal technique, she also makes known her disdain for training pads - basically an open floor nappy.
“You are actually teaching the dog to pee in the house, because you’re putting something down for him to urinate on.”
So what’s the answer?
“Starting from the beginning, you take the puppy home, you take it outside every 15 minutes.”
Do you have to give up your job to do this?
“No, dogs work in three day cycles - you can crack it in three days - no problem,” she insists.

Fresh perspective
House training is a good example of the guiding principle of Eileen’s new book ‘Life Through A Dog’s Eyes - It’s a Different World’. Filled with personal anecdotes and useful tips, it’s a literary mongrel - part memoir, part owners’ guide, written in a fun way that’s easily understood by the layman. Basically it helps owners gain a fresh perspective of why their pooch behaves the way it does and offers simple solutions to motivate your dog to act in a way that makes life easier for both parties. For example, for my problem of Peggy peeing inside, Eileen advises:
“You take it outside, when the dog eliminates, you reward it. So from the dog’s point of view, ‘If I do it out here I get a reward’.
“If it comes back in and eliminates on the floor, say nothing. No treat, no nothing - what would you prefer? Get a reward? So the dog thinks: ‘Oh, when I go outside I get a reward.’
“If the dog has an accident, it could have done it two hours before - you don’t know - the dog’s going, ‘why am I being punished?’
“I’ve done that. I’ve rubbed a dog’s nose in it, I’ve shouted at them, I’ve slapped them. The last four dogs I’ve had have been trained using inhumane methods - none. They go outside.”
It’s one of Eileen’s most endearing qualities, any mistakes that your average dog owner has made, she readily admits to having made them too. What sets Eileen apart from the rest of us however is that her failings inspired her to learn the latest techniques in dog training. Not only has she learned them, she’s perfected them.
In 2001, Eileen qualified top of her class as a dog behavioural psychologist, and proceeded to study ‘Advanced Aggression’ at the Canine Behavioural Centre in England. As part of it, she undertook an especially demanding thesis: “I decided to take an eight-year-old child and a rottweiler and train it to the Kennel Club’s Gold Standard in eight weeks and they said it couldn’t be done. I said, ‘Watch me.’
“The dog was examined by a Kennel Club examiner, and it passed.”
Of course the Kennel Club are those who run Crufts, and she puts her ability to confound their expectations down to the fact that she’s a qualified dog behavioural psychologist, which most examiners are not. Eileen’s studies however also revealed to her a painful truth.
“The guilt that I suffered when I did that course was horrendous,” she confesses.
What did you feel most guilty about?
“That I got it all wrong.”
The dog with which springs to mind for Eileen was her and her husband Derek’s beloved labrador Kelly.
“She trashed my house, and I mean trashed! She ate the windows.”
Ate the windows? the Celt yelps aghast (and secretly thrilled that Peggy isn’t as destructive as Eileen’s dog).
“She ate the windows and pushed them out. I didn’t have skirting boards, I didn’t have shoes. Nothing was sacred.
“She was a loveable rogue. She was probably the worst and best dog I ever had. She was a nightmare. She wouldn’t come back on recall, she would go out to the sea and chase a sea gull for miles.
“Recall: ‘Kelly come!’ Yeah right,” she says reliving the exasperation.
“So I’ve made every mistake and more. The thing that hit me most was what she was trying to tell me: ‘You’re not channelling what I’m here for. You’ve not trained me. You let me do as I like, I’m supposed to have rules.’
“I created no rules. As fast as Derek replaced the plaster boards she was ripping them off.”
Kelly wasn’t the only dog the Robinsons indulged. They got everything wrong with their first dog, a beautiful great dane called Caesar.
“Did I research the breed? No. Did I do all the things owners shouldn’t do? Yes. My failings as a dog owner are laid bare in there,” she says nodding towards her book.
“He was a character to say the least. He used to share our bed, and in the end it became ridiculous so we bought him a single bed.”
A single bed for a human?
“For a human,” she nods, adding, “he was 7ft 2in on his hind legs.”

Grieving
It shouldn’t come as a surprise that the Robinsons treated their dog like a family member, as the bond between pet and owner can be intense. That’s why it can be so tough to come to terms with the loss of a pet. Eileen says there’s a section in her book about grieving for a dog or coming to terms with the decision to have a sick dog put down.
“I don’t think you actually get over it per se,” says Eileen. “If you understand your dog, you know when it’s the right time because they tell you. They don’t want to get up, they don’t want to interact, you make a decision for the benefit of the dog.”
How long did you grieve for Kelly?
“Kelly was special,” she says. “When I look back on it, she was really special. It took us a long time to get another dog, about a year.”
She further reveals how she and Derek faced a tougher than normal decision when it came to Penny and Shadow, twin sister labradors.
“People are going to rip shreds out of me for this,” she predicts before explaining that a scan revealed that Shadow had a “fairly big” tumour in her chest.
“The vet said we can’t do anything, we can’t do any more, so I said, okay I’ll take them home and discuss it talk to Derek and see what he thinks - because Shadow was my dog, Penny was his dog.
“We made the decision that they would both go together. Hard.”
It is jarring to hear that she had Penny put down even though there was no serious complaints aside from her ripe old age of 12. However, Eileen speaks so fondly of the twins, and is moved to tears recalling the story, so you can tell the decision was driven purely by love, and to adapt the title of her book, taken through a dog’s eyes.
“They were born together, they’d lived together. She was arthritic and was at the end of her life - so we decided then that they would go together.”
They were cremated and their ashes are now in Inishconnell, near Killykeen, where the Robinsons live and from where Eileen runs Dog Dilemmas. This is where Eileen puts her behavioural psychologist expertise into action offering puppy training, obedience training and tackles dog behaviour problems.
Arguably the zenith of Eileen’s training prowess can be seen in Pepper, a springer collie cross who has a vast repertoire of tricks including the ability to count (bark) to ten, and even solve simple addition - ask her what two plus four is, and she’ll bark six times. Believe me, it’s no shaggy dog story, and it offers hope that Peggy and I can live happily together without the need of buying new shoes and headphones every few weeks.

BOOK LAUNCH
Eileen Robinson will sign copies of ‘Life Through A Dog’s Eyes - It’s a Different World’ at Pet Performance in Cavan Town (across the road from the Meadowview) on Saturday, April 9 from 2.30pm onwards.