Father urges people to speak out on bullying
The parent of a young man who took his own life has asked people to speak out against bullying and to report it.
Raymond Heaslip’s son Eden (18), who was laid to rest on Friday, did not confide in family or friends about the abuse he suffered until it was too late.
The bereaved father asked that people become aware of the signs of bullying and urged anyone who sees others being victimised to bring it to the attention of others.
Different types of bullying
SpunOut.ie, an Irish non-governmental organisation focused on providing online youth information, identifies six types of bullying. Verbal bullying occurs when the bully calls people names or says nasty and hurtful things. Verbal attacks can also be directed towards race, colour or religion. Spreading rumours is also a form of verbal bullying.
Physical bullying involves everything from hair pulling to punching and kicking. Sometimes people around may think the bully is just messing around and play acting, but the victim doesn’t feel it is a fun game.
Gesture bullying is where the bully stares or looks in an intimidating way or where they use threatening gestures.
Exclusion bullying happens when the bully isolates their victim and leaves them out of things. The target may be left all alone at lunchtime because the bully makes sure that few people will speak to them. This can have a terrible impact on confidence and self-esteem.
Extortion bullying is where the bully threatens to hurt. The victim may be forced to give the bully money, possessions or lunch. They may even be forced to steal property.
Cyber-bullying is a type of bullying where the bully attacks online in the form of threatening emails, threatening texts or aggressive wall posts on social media accounts.
Know the signs
Signs of being bullied include a change in behaviour, a lack of concentration or becoming withdrawn, being excessively clingy, depressed, fearful, or emotionally up and down.
The bullied person may appear to have no close friends, not be part of groups, not discussing positive events or be happy at the weekend but not during the week.
The victim may display physical signs like stomach aches, headaches, or sleep difficulties. Making negative remarks about themselves including phrases such as ‘nobody else thinks I’m any good’, can also be an indicator. Visible signs like cuts and bruises or unexplained damage to their belongings or clothing should also sound alarm bells.
The SpunOut website also advises: ‘If you see someone being bullied, it can be difficult to step in for fear that the bully might begin bullying you. However, standing by and watching bullying happen is not the answer either. The more people who stand up to a bully, the less likely they are to continue.’
‘If you think your friend or someone you know is being bullied, talk to them about it. Avoid questioning them too intently or asking them anything that might make them feel that they have done something wrong. Bullying can have a significant impact on a person’s mental health. If you are worried about your friend’s mental health, encourage them to talk to someone about it, go for counselling.’
Christine Wynne, coordinator at Sosad Cavan, said although the organisation does not directly have resources on bullying such problems can be dealt with through counselling: “The skills and the coping mechanisms needed to help anyone young or old through such a time would be developed with the help of a counsellor here. While most people will always have family and friends to turn to, it is helpful to talk to someone who is not emotionally involved, to put into perspective that it is not something you are doing wrong that has brought this bullying upon you.
“The bully may think it is just their one comment but for the person receiving it chances are they are getting this from more than one person. Bullying is wrong in all formats and is never justifiable. The realisation of a funeral is the reality of where bullying can lead to and needs to be stamped out now,” Christina said.
READ MORE