Providing 'a helping hand'

The proudest moment of Deirdre’s Donnelly’s book writing process came when she told her three kids about ‘Where Life Meets You’.

Her youngest, Sam who is ten years’ old, asked: “mammy, is it on mental health and wellbeing?”

“It made me very proud to hear that it’s not a taboo [among young people],” Deirdre comments, and she believes awareness “can only get better from here”.

After taking a break from her podcast, ‘The Chats With Dee’, writing ‘Where Life Meets You’ felt like a natural next step for Deirdre. Her podcast focused on mental health with interviewees hailing from across Cavan to share their journey and what techniques helped them through a difficult time in their lives.

“Really and truly it just felt like another piece of the jigsaw for me for my life,” she says of her latest venture.

Her book ‘Where Life Meets You’ recounts some of these podcast stories over 10 chapters, entwined with Deirdre’s own life experiences as a teacher at Cavan Institute, a mum of three and a committee member at Cornafean GAA’s Health and Wellbeing Club.

In the chapter entitled ‘Community’, where Deirdre outlines the importance of human connection, she shares some of her experiences working with young people at Cavan Institute.

“Every day, I watch young people let their phones ring out and send a message instead, so they don’t have to engage directly,” she wrote.

At a time when technology has evolved to a point where people can have AI companions, Deirdre believes: “You’re never going to replace what human connection brings. It’s irreplaceable.”

A place where you can find these connections is within your local community, which Deirdre sees first-hand at her own GAA club in Cornafean. The health and wellbeing initiatives there served as a huge inspiration for the book, as Deirdre has witnessed how the club has changed the lives of many by providing the space for people to gather. It has showed her how a chat with your neighbours can make your day, even if it’s just a simple ‘hello, how are you?’ when walking around the pitch. In the book, she reminds people to get involved within their own communities, even if it’s just in a small way.

“We all have our families but I think community is next in line as a huge support,” she says.

“It’s just lovely to know when you are part of a community, it’s there. You have the backing and when you are overwhelmed or if there are things going on, your community is there as well as your family to get you back on steady footing again, which I think is a lovely thing.”

“You don’t have to be involved in a huge way but just in some little way, it really is make or break for a lot of people.”

The chapter is strategically placed in the middle of the book, with all other chapters including ‘Life’s Knock Backs’, ‘Inner voice’, ‘Talking’ and ‘Nutrition’ surrounding it.

Most of the words came to her as she was walking around the track at Cornafean GAA pitch. As she walked around meeting people from the walking or running club, or looking at the work by the men’s shed, the craft group or the gardening club, inspiration flowed “like a tap”.

She praised the “super work” by the local community, some of which was on display nationally at Bloom recently with the ‘Community Tea’ postcard garden, comprising cups given and planted by community to represent the tea and chats shared among members. The Donnelly cup was proudly on display at the gardening festival, and Deirdre reflects on the community spirit while preparing to go to Pheonix Park.

“To be in the kitchen with a room full of women with the chats and the banter, I just thought this is exactly what I was talking about and what I felt when I was writing the chapter on community. That simple task of us in there planting the cups that everybody was a part of. I am super proud of the initiative and idea behind the cups because that is us in Cornafean; in the kitchen, having the chats, and that’s what it is all about, that connection.”

“Having community along with your family is a massive support,” she surmises.

The book is written using a conversational tone, and Deirdre hopes it will be something that people can return to at different stages of their life whenever they need a reminder “to help look after yourself”.

“I just want it to be there as a helping hand for people.”

She made the “conscious decision” at the start of the process that the 92-page book would not be “the size of an encyclopaedia”.

“If I felt overwhelmed I don’t want to pull out a large book, that’s not going to help.

“I hope people can enjoy it, it’s not a huge read but it’s there and it’s meaningful.

“I just want people to feel supported because loneliness is still huge. That’s why I wrote it in a conversational style so that when you’re reading it you feel that you have me there along with you and that we’re having a chat.”

Since making its way to Amazon shelves on June 5, Deirdre's book has been a bestseller in the psychology category and second bestseller in self-help.

Published by Butterly Books Publishers, 'Where Life Meets You: How We Love, Heal & Keep Going' will officially launch at Cornafean Sports Hall tomorrow (Thursday) at 7pm.