Portrait of an artist as a young hurler
By Maitiú Monaghan
Monaghan Harps' new Fontaines DC jersey has been weighing on my mind since it was released last week. The band are everywhere, and I'm a big fan of the new album, so my social media algorithm keeps prompting me towards the new shirt.
For those who've missed it, Conor Curley, a talented underage hurler with the Harps, packed it in to become an internationally renowned guitarist with arguably the coolest band in the country.
Last week, Curley teamed up with his old club to release a limited-edition jersey, the proceeds generating funds for the local club.
Only 1,000 have been printed, and if you search for the jersey online, social media discourse is littered with American fans trying to get the jersey shipped across the water.
Most, I assume, think a Monaghan harp is a musical instrument, so fair play to Curley for promoting his club on the global stage.
A Hot Press feature with the Monaghan man raised eyebrows at the Celt's sports desk. The headline read: 'Our songs never have the answer to the anguish'.
The band's music is targeted at a younger cohort, dripping in angst, frustration, and helplessness.
Completely unrelated, Curley ended up speaking to Hot Press about Monaghan footballers.
“Sure next year we’ll see what happens. Hopefully Monaghan can build on what they did last season.”
Personally, I think Hot Press didn't push hard enough on these remarks. Does Curley think Monaghan will win an All-Ireland in the next 10 years? How is he feeling about Division 2 next season? Is he over Monaghan's quarter final loss to Louth?
Maybe the answers are the anguish.
Bug bearer
I won't be buying the (gorgeous) Monaghan Harps Fontaines DC jersey, but not because I'm against such forms of cultural identification.
Last year, I snapped up the limited edition Oasis x Bohemians jersey, but couldn't get tickets to see the Gallaghers’ reunion tour in Croke Park, so now live too embarrassed to ever wear it in public.
Instead, I went to see Fontaines play in Manchester, with Belfast rap trio Kneecap opening.
It did occur to me I might be the only person not wearing one of several Fontaines DC x Bohemians jerseys. Again, I'm not above such things- I was wearing a knock-off retro Celtic jersey.
Down through the years, I have inadvertently found my wardrobe align perfectly with the fashionistas in Paris and Milan.
During the Covid 19 pandemic, Paul Mescal's GAA shorts became all the rage after his character wore a snazzy pair in Normal People.
In 2020, Image magazine wrote that Mescal's “greatest triumph” was making GAA shorts fashionable.
I couldn’t believe it- I’d been wearing them for years, and the only comment I’d ever got was: “do you not realise it's snowing outside?”
As such Mescal did Trojan work for tan averse GAA lads everywhere.
Gucci released a pair of shorts with a similar style retailing at just €550. Needless to say I didn’t splurge the guts of a week’s wages on a pair.
All the same, I can't help but wonder; would the man walking around in a Monaghan Harps hurling jersey, a pair of blue O'Neills shorts with ankle socks and a pair of runners really be considered the height of fashion?
There is a strange code when it comes to wearing GAA jerseys that can appear bizarre to those who didn't grow up wearing them every day.
Because I play football for another club in Monaghan, I simply cannot bring myself to wear a Monaghan Harps jersey. That is the reason.
To paraphrase the Fontaine's 'rockstars, sportstars, superstars, it doesn't matter what you are'- you can’t wear a rival club's jersey.
Never mind that it’s hurling, and the Harps is technically the closest hurling club to me.
Surely that isn’t contentious? If Clones (for example) released a limited-edition Butcher Boy jersey- with an axe or a pig’s head emblazoned across the front- you wouldn’t see many of them in Monaghan Town.
Here's where the unspoken truth of GAA jerseys ventures into the surreal, even ridiculous.
It can be seen as a bit strange to wear your own county's jersey. Why? Several reasons. Firstly, those jerseys are designed for inter-county athletes and fit accordingly.
Secondly, club players are technically feeding into the county side- you have to earn the right to wear it. Deep down, we all think we could some day. There is no answer to the anguish.
You can wear a Monaghan top to Croke Park, but wearing one to a club training session is liable to raise questions about who exactly you think you are. Notions!
There are caveats however: You'll often see men well into their 20s reliving the glory days wearing a decade old development squad training top that is so tight it dresses like body paint.
Or the old reliable, a retro top from days gone by, at least 20 years old and long since out of production, preferably robbed off your da.
For some reason, it is perfectly acceptable to wear another county's jersey. After all, you need to wear something to training or the gym.
In college once, a roommate studying tax law gifted me a Cayman Islands GAA top. I don't want to know how he got it.
Half-and-half jerseys are fine on a newborn. But no sane parent would leave their child sitting on a fence.
By their first birthday they must get off it and pick a side. Blue and white, or white and blue?
Stranger still is the relationship with the club jersey.
A club player shouldn't wear his side's home jersey, unless they’re playing in it that very day. Training tops, shorts, half-zips, pullovers, whatever are all perfectly acceptable, but just not the jersey.
Basically, the general rule is you shouldn't wear a jersey that specifically identifies you to your club or county.
In Mean Street’s soccer parlance it the rule of the everyday ‘Casual’.
But what does all this mean for Conor Curley?
Fontaines set the agenda for what is cool and on trend and what isn’t.
Occasionally this overlaps with the 20- something Irish man, but rarely.
Under the rules of Irish GAA culture, can Curley wear his own jersey? Probably to be fair. But at what point does a Monaghan Harps jersey stop being a Monaghan Harps jersey? It's the Ship of Theseus, captained by hipsters.
I went searching social media to see if anyone else ponders such quandaries. The search was in vain- though someone described him as 'Conor Hurley'.