‘Shhhh, this is our secret’

Legal representatives for a man accused of sexually assaulting his first cousin, and later abusing the daughter of another relative, have requested that he undergo a psychological assessment.

Cavan Circuit Court heard that, despite his family being aware of the earlier complaint, the man continued to have access to other young children in his parents’ home years after.

The court was told that the older of the two victims had been living in the same household as the accused, having moved there with her siblings following the tragic death of a parent. Her allegations only came to light years later, when gardaí began investigating a separate complaint by the daughter of another relative who alleged the man abused her under a blanket while she was in the care of his mother.

The accused, who cannot be named to protect the identities of the victims, appeared before Judge John Aylmer for the hearing of evidence. Accompanied by his father, he sat at the rear of the courtroom throughout, staring forward or at the floor.

Victim impact statements detailed the long-lasting effects of the abuse, as well as the sense of ostracisation both complainants experienced from the accused man’s family after reporting the incidents to gardaí.

In June 2025, the defendant - represented by Breffni Gordon BL, instructed by Garrett Fortune Solicitors - pleaded guilty to two of four counts on the indictment: one count of sexual assault against each victim. The offences occurred between September 2009 and October 2010 for one complainant, and between March 2018 and February 2020 for the second.

The mother of the young girl abused in the most recent incident said the child “does not fully understand what happened” but she is aware what the man did to her was “wrong”.

The date in February 2020 when her daughter told her a “secret she was told not to share” - one her relative had sworn her to keep, is a “day we will never forget”.

Since then, the mother says she had observed her daughter “feel scared, anxious and unsure” about who she can trust. Now, as a teenager, the effects of the abuse are becoming evident - “sadness, worry, confusion, anxiety, fear, and more questions”.

She often asks why some family members “no longer speak to us”, leaving her feeling guilty and isolated, the court heard from the victim impact statement read by Garda Gavin Brennan.

“I am deeply concerned about the lasting impact this abuse and the family’s response may have on her as she grows up,” said the mother. “She deserves safety and support. The harm caused to her, both by the abuse itself and by the rejection that followed, has been profound.”

The older victim also described how being sexually abused has shaped her life.

She recalled being a child, not fully understanding what was happening, but knowing it “felt wrong” and “unsafe”. Today she lives with the emotional consequences of that, experiencing often “overwhelming” anxiety and panic triggered by what might seem ordinary situations.

One of the “hardest parts” was what happened after she did eventually find the courage to speak up. Instead of being “supported” she was told to leave the place she considered home.

“I was told to leave my home because the perpetrator was their son. I was told by them numerous times I am not to tell anyone about this,” said the woman, knowing the family feared how the allegations against their son might affect their image and relative standing in a small rural community. The result forced her to live in “silence” before being “removed from the only stable home” she had growing up following the death of her parent.

“I felt rejected, unimportant, and banned from speaking the truth,” she said in her victim impact statement, also read by Gda Brennan.

The woman now avoids returning to her home town out of fear she might run into her abuser.

“Memories now only brings fear,” said the injured party, who has attended years of counselling to help her to cope with the trauma.

Psych assessment sought for abuse accused

Evidence in the case was presented to Judge John Aylmer by prosecutor Frank Martin, instructed by State Solicitor Fiona Baxter.

The abuse of the younger injured party only came to light after her parents engaged her in a discussion happening at school about what was “inappropriate” touching. She was six at the time but the parents learned the abuse may have even begun a year earlier. The girl told her parents that her cousin sometimes touched her “under a blanket”, often in the sitting room while watching TV or while she played on an iPad. He was 30 years old at the time, and the young girl was in the care of the man’s mother.

The girl would later tell trained interviewers that the accused “is my cousin and he touched my private parts”.

He would touch her “bum” and afterwards say: “Shhhh, this is our secret.”

She recalled a specific incident returning from the shop. The accused was in the sitting room and beckoned her in “for a private”. She didn’t want to go, but did, and he placed a blanket over them both. She told gardaí she was “scared” and that after her clothes were all “scrunched up”.

She told gardaí the touching was “sore”, that she “didn't like it”, and that it left her with a feeling like “butterflies in her tummy”.

The other injured party, who was born in the mid-nineties, is a sister of the younger girl’s mother.

She was in first year in secondary school, because what happened occurred in close proximity to when she first kissed a boy.

The defendant was sitting on the sofa, and she was on the floor, when he abused her.

She did as she was asked and after the man told her they “must not tell” anyone about what happened.

The second incident occurred when she was at home in bed and the defendant arrived in from the pub. She was 11 or 12 at the time, it was a single bed and he got in beside her. He asked the girl to kiss him, which she did “on the lips”. But then he started to touch the girl. When he attempted to touch her vagina, she panicked and “got out”, standing at the back door until other family members returned.

In her statement to gardaí she remembered the consternation that occurred after. The man himself locked himself in his bedroom for “days after”. The defendant’s mother meanwhile asked the girl did she want to report the matter the gardaí, though reminded her if she did then her son would “go away for a long time”.

“I didn’t want to make her sad,” said the woman.

The man later moved out of the house, but only “down the road”. Within months he began returning to the family home where the girl still lived.

The defendant, Judge Aylmer was told, has no previous convictions, and Mr Gordon asked to reserve his position to cross-examine the garda witness at a later stage.

The barrister reiterated that a plea had been entered, but acknowledged that a report - dated October 30, 2025 - while it provided some “insight” was weak in terms displaying victim awareness.

As such Mr Gordon was anxious for an adjournment in order to have his client assessed further.

“He appears quite unwell,” said the barrister of his client, describing him as “quite withdrawn”.

Finalisation of the case and sentencing was adjourned to a circuit court date in June next year.